Tuesday, April 12, 2011

107 Reasons why not to run the Cremator 2011 Ultra

This is NOT going to be fun, this is NOT going to be cute, you are more likely to get hit by lighting playing a round of golf on Hilton Head than you are to finish this race. You are better off sending me a check for $40 made payable to cash than sending it with a race application, because there is no way that you will actually make it to the end of the event to actually get your race tee-shirt or your finishing medal, hence you will walk away with nothing but a horrible sunburn, heat exhaustion and possible death. The main reason that you should NOT run this event is the record breaking July temperature of 107 degrees. At this temperature the glue on your shoes will melt, your feet will blister and once again, you WILL NOT FINISH this race. The race will start at 10:00am with an average temp of 90 degrees, by noon you will be in the wide open with overhead temps well over 100 degrees. The road alone will be reflecting 130+ degree temps under you. Do yourself a favor now, DO NOT FOLLOW this Blog page, DO NOT TELL your friends about this race and DO NOT ASK HOW YOU CAN SIGN UP FOR THIS EVENT. You do not have what it takes to event toe the starting line let alone think that you can finish the full event.

6 comments:

  1. Okay, I'll be the first sucker to bite... how do you sign up and where can I get more information on the race???

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  2. timed right, I am on vacation in HH the week of 7/16. I am with Tim bring it on

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  3. So, how do I get invited to this nasty event?

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  4. You are not following what I am saying... YOU DO NOT HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO RUN THIS EVENT. The simple fact that posted to this Blog tells me that you are not serious about running this event and that you seriously just want to die on the roads of Hilton Head. I'm sure there is some easy 5k fun run that would be for all of you that weekend. Good luck over there, I think you can sign up on inactive.com - go away! No soup for you!!!

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  5. So we know this thing is going to be hot... I can handle hot, how do we sign up?

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  6. Can I just follow the dead bodies and Turkey Vultures to get me close to the finish line?

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